No Other Choice- Re-Write
by geekchick1804
Summary: This was my first k/s fanfiction story. Kirk's first year in command wasn't exactly going to plan. This is going to be a multi-chapter story with lots of character suffering because hurt!kirk is awesome and a little bit of fluff. I hope you enjoy please read and review. This was actually the story that I first started rewriting and i hope you see the difference.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I am currently going through a rewrite of all my fics as a means of improving my written work and I hope you see the improvement. I have left the other version of this fic up so that you can compare the difference between the two. Also this chapter is now more than double the size of the previous version. I will be updating this fic once a week. Please read and review.

Story Warnings: Rape, Non-con, violence, strong language, my depraved mind.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I never will :(

Chapter 1

It was just over a month into the newly refurbished Starship Enterprise's five year mission and the young and relatively green crew were starting to work together in a cohesive unit. They had had three diplomatic missions under their belt already and so far they had not lost a single member of the crew, although everyone knew it would happen eventually they weren't thinking about it, they were of the out of sight out of mind school of thought.

There had been a few hiccups along the way (such as Scotty building an alcoholic still in engineering and it being subsequently found by Spock, or the captain ending up in sickbay five times even though they were on so called safe missions, though the visits were due to allergic reactions and not due to hostile actions) but they were easily fixed (the non-existent still had been moved to another area far away from peeping toms or Vulcan's as the case maybe and sending McCoy down on every away mission the captain went on) and now there was only one pressing problem left: Spock.

The Vulcan had always been known as a bit of a hard-ass at the academy but he had also always been known to understand the limitations of the human body and mind and was therefore willing to explain the hows and whys you did something. So when he had started snapping and snarling at his subordinates for the slightest mistakes or breaks in protocol and insulting his underlings every time one of them asked a question, everyone had noticed. It was not even a sudden case, it had been dragging on for over a week, getting steadily worse and any time someone had suggested he go and see Dr McCoy Spock had given such a scathing retort that he had caused two young and very inexperienced ensigns to burst into tears. Even Captain Kirk was reluctant to speak to Spock about his behaviour (he still remembered what happened the last time they had gotten into an argument). Eventually it had to come to a head and it did one month, two weeks and a day into their five year mission and it had started on a relatively normal day (no one was attacking the ship and so far there had been no accidents in engineering)...

Lieutenant Uhura was not only an incredible linguist (she spoke close to sixty different languages, twenty of those she was fluent in) she was also great at reading behaviour and she noticed more than the rest of the ship when it came to Spock so even though the rest of ship knew Spock was being _slightly_ different she knew that he was only a few steps from completely losing his emotional control. She had watched as Spock became an emotionless robot (the last stage before losing his temper, Uhura knew the signs well as she had been dating him for over a year and yes she knew about his bond-mate on Vulcan, if the relationship had progressed far enough they were going to petition for the bond to be broken between Spock and T'Pring) who just stared at his screen never once looking at anyone, his back was ramrod straight and anyone who knew him well (namely; her) could see the tension in his shoulders.

Therefore when their shift ended she waited for him to finish handing the science console over to his replacement. Everyone else had already fled so that they weren't caught in Spock's cross-hairs, a few had even given her looks of awe as they went past (so far she alone had been spared any insults). Uhura followed Spock into the turbo lift and when the lift began to move Uhura hit the stop button, Spock looked at Uhura for the first time since the beginning of the Alpha shift.

"Spock, tell me what's wrong?" She asked in concern.

Spock took a deep breath, he looked even more pale than usual which was a very telling sign that not all was good with the Vulcan.

"It's too soon." He whispered.

Uhura looked and felt completely confused.

"What's too soon?" She asked.

Spock started to shake, his control was almost non-existent. A flicker of terror crossed Spock's face so fast Uhura thought she had imagined it and he whispered.

"Pon-farr." The words could barely be heard, it was as though Spock could not bear to hear them out loud (which Uhura thought was to be the honest truth).

A look of comprehension and shock crossed Uhura's face and then she felt a great wave of pain as she realised just what needed to happen now.

"Oh god Spock. Your betrothed, you will need to contact her."

Spock glanced away momentarily. He swallowed painfully and then looked back, the look in his eyes was heart-breaking.

"She did not survive." He whispered hoarsely, so very different to how he usually sounded.

Uhura looked horrified and felt disgusted with herself when she felt a flicker of hope inside herself that maybe they now had a chance to be together permanently, and then when she saw another flicker of fear she took a few steps toward Spock and stood almost inside his personal space.

"Can we? Can I help? I want to help." She asked.

She put a hand on Spock's arm in comfort, her bare arm just lightly brushed Spock's hand. The Vulcan's control finally snapped and he pushed her up against the turbo lift wall with a growl, she cried out in pain as her back hit the wall but Spock ignored it and his fingers instinctively reached for the meld points on Uhura's face (this was the first time that the two of them had melded, the first time Spock himself had initiated a meld as all others had been initiated either by his father or his clan mother), the connection flared fast and violent. Uhura felt the pressure build in her mind until it reached an unbearable level when Spock recoiled and backed off until he ended up against the opposite wall. Fear was evident on his face.

"What happened Spock? Why did you do that?" She had known about mind-melds but they had never used one before, though when she got her answer from Spock she wished that they had so that the pain she felt would not be so bad.

"I need a... a mental connection but... but... we are not compatible. You can not help me. I must return to the colony, you must get me to the colony. I need to go into meditation." For the first time in his life Spock stammered, he didn't know what was going to happen now, he hoped that his father would help him find a mate.

Spock pressed the button to get the lift to start again, he did not make eye contact with Uhura again and as soon as the lift doors open onto the officers floor he exited the lift and almost ran to the comfort and security of his quarters. Uhura took a deep breath as she watched him leave and then exited the lift herself and walked at a more sedate pace to the Captains quarters which were conveniently located right next to Spock's quarters.

She hesitated outside the captains quarters, then silently berated herself for not having the courage to knock, Uhura stood there for about five minutes before she finally buzzed the captains door. It was almost immediately opened by the captain, who was dressed in his off duty clothing (a pair of soft black jogging bottoms and a grey CalSci university jumper).

"Lieutenant Uhura, what an unexpected pleasure. What can I do for you?" Kirk asked with a smile on his face although he did look perplexed at why she would be buzzing his door, perhaps she was looking for Spock's door and had gotten the rooms mixed up. "You know Spock's room is..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Uhura had just pushed past him and entered his quarters without his permission. His gaze turned steely, _how dare she enter my quarters?_

"Lieutenant what are..."

Uhura interrupted him before he could finishing demanding to know what she was doing.

"Jim. Please. Spock's the reason I am here."

Uhura's use of his first name and the absence of any irritation in her voice was enough for him to stop in his tracks and switch from annoyed captain to concerned friend (Even though technically they were not quite friends, but that was a small detail that didn't bother Jim).

"What's wrong?"

"Jim... just listen please... It's about Spock. I don't know how to explain this. I don't know if I should explain this... it is not spoken about to Offworlders often."

Uhura turned away from Jim. Something clicked in Jim's brain at this, he remembered a couple of old Spock's memories of him fighting with his captain and another of Spock trying to explain what was happening to him. Jim moved over to Uhura and put his hand on her shoulder, she almost jumped at the touch. Jim sighed and rubbed a hand over his weary face.

"It's Pon-farr isn't it?" He asked.

Uhura turned around a look of surprise on her face. Jim dropped his hand but didn't move away.

"How do you know that?" She demanded, it wasn't like Jim would be able to find out about Pon-farr through his computers (as Vulcan's would not keep that sensitive information on the Federation database) and as far as she was aware the only Vulcan he had interacted with was Spock and there was no way Spock would have told Jim (she had only found out six months after she had started dating him when she had found out about his bond-mate and throughout it all Spock had been the colour of Kermit and he never once looked at her in the face).

Jim shrugged his shoulders and gave a small smile, he was not going to tell her about the older version of Spock running around the galaxy.

"Doesn't matter. What does he need? Is his betrothed still alive?" At that thought he remembered a flash of the elder Spock's life and the Kali-fee T'Pring had initiated and Jim hoped that not all things would be the same, that maybe with the destruction of the planet T'Pring would not wish to fight against being bound to Spock.

Uhura shook her head, a miserable look on her face. Jim's face fell, he didn't want anything to happen to Spock even though they weren't friends yet, it was just what a good captain would do.

"Do you need time off for this?" He asked delicately.

Again Uhura shook her head. Jim looked confused.

"Why not?" He inquired with a small blush.

"Apparently we are not compatible enough mentally for a connection to form. We have to get him back to New Vulcan so that a bond-mate can be found for him." She answered, her heart ached with the knowledge that she would never be with him again, he was such a compassionate and giving lover and she loved him a great deal.

"One second." Jim walked over to his desk and flicked on his comm unit. "Kirk to helm."

"Lieutenant McKenna here sir." Came a smooth male voice over the comm unit.

"Set in a new course to New Vulcan, maximum warp." Jim ordered, there was a tightness in his gut that he did not understand.

There was a pause for a couple of seconds and Jim could hear tapping on a screen.

"Course laid in sir."

"What's our E. T. A?" Asked Jim.

There was another pause though slightly shorter.

"Six days, seventeen hours sir." Jim's gut tightened.

"Thank you Lieutenant. Kirk out."

Jim switched off the comm unit, he looked over at Uhura who looked like she is about to burst into tears. Jim walked back over to her.

"We are not going to make it in time. Are we?" He asked, although he knew the answer.

"No we are not."

Jim sighed, this was not what he had signed up for. His brain went through their possible options, maybe there could be something that could slow things down and give them time to get to New Vulcan.

"I'll have a word with bones, see if he can come up with something to slow it down."

Uhura gave Jim a wan smile, it wasn't much but there was now some hope.

"Thank you. But what happens if he can't? What do we do then?" She asked, fear was pooling in her stomach, she felt so lost and confused.

"I don't know. I'll think of something, I always do."

Uhura gave him another faint smile and then to Jim's shock she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"You better, I cant lose him. Even if I can only have him as my friend it would be better than losing him totally." It was true, ever since she had found out about T'Pring she had always known that there was a chance that Spock would leave her (after all the Vulcan's did not like offworlders as shown in their treatment of Amanda Grayson, Spock's mother and they have refused to break the bond) and although it hurt to know that they weren't compatible she was not going to give up on him as a friend, she had too few ever since the battle of Vulcan when so many of her friends and classmates had died.

Jim didn't know what to say to that so he just gave her another hug and added a squeeze.

TBC

Please review and let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

No Other Choice

A/n: Thank you to Tishbing for reviewing.

Disclaimer: Still don't own star trek. :(

Chapter Warnings: Rape.

Chapter 2

Jim was sat in his captain's chair at the end of an uneventful (Read boring) shift, going over the previous days events and being thankful that Bones listened when Jim really needed him to and was an absolute genius when it comes to pointy-eared hobgoblins (his words). Bones had managed to concoct a combination of different drugs to try and slow down the effects of Pon-Farr, which had a small measure of success but unfortunately it had only slowed the speed down by a few hours and so Bones had now locked himself in one of the science labs and was trying any number of unknown combinations to try to help.

Spock had of course not turned up to his shift for (in fact he hadn't been seen in the last twenty-four hours since he had spoken to Uhura) which the rest of the bridge crew were extremely thankful for as they did not have to be so sombre and quiet. Jim had not realised how much he had come to depend on Spock during the shift let alone with all the paper work he had to do. He really needed Spock to be on his A-game which wasn't possible at the moment and that brought Jim's attention back to the actual cause; no matter how Jim looked at the problem he just couldn't seem to find an answer, but he was determined not to lose.

Although Old Spock said that they were destined to have an epic friendship, he and Spock had yet to begin that journey, at the moment they were still trying to get used to their new roles on board the ship; well Jim was. Spock seemed to almost effortlessly do both the First officers duties, the Science officers duties and berate Jim into doing his own duties but that didn't mean that Jim wasn't looking forward to having that relationship with Spock.

Jim had spent some of his shift speaking to Spock's father in his ready room (a new addition to the Enterprise that had taken Jim by surprise since before the refurbishment the ship did not have one), trying to arrange for a Vulcan ship to meet them halfway between the ship and New Vulcan to cut the time needed to get Spock help. Old Spock was incredibly hard to get a hold of at the moment and when they finally did, he was asked who his bond-mate had been in the previous time-line and he had not answered. Apparently he didn't want things to continue to change. But then McCoy had run another test and even if a ship did meet them halfway it would still be too late.

"Sir?"

Jim looked up and realised that the shift had changed whilst he had been lost in thought. He smiled when he saw his relief officer standing next to him, who had probably waiting for at least five minutes (as the rest of the bridge crew had already changed over) so that he could take over the conn. Jim stood up and stretched then turned to his relief officer.

"Conn's all yours lieutenant."

"Thank you sir."

Jim walked over to the turbo-lift, whilst waiting for it to arrive he looked back over at the lieutenant who was gazing almost reverently at the captains chair before he sat down. Jim managed to keep his laugh contained somehow, it was adorable (and probably the same look he had on his face when he first saw the chair and knew that it was his). The lift arrived with a beep and Jim stepped in, he was planning on going to his quarters for a quick shower and a change of clothes before heading to the mess and grabbing a bite to eat.

As he stepped out of the lift and started heading towards his quarters his thoughts invariably turned back to Spock, he again tried to come up with another solution but he couldn't think of any more; all the Vulcan's are on the new colony trying to rebuild but even if someone could be found who was compatible and was sent to meet them it would be too late, Doctor McCoy's estimate only gave Spock another another two days at most, time was running out.

Jim entered his quarters and started to undress, he removed his shoes and socks before taking off his command shirt and the under shirt he always wore (he had heard about how easily the command shirts tore from Pike) as he headed straight into the bathroom where he found an unconscious Spock in the shower, he dropped the shirts onto the wet floor and moved towards the Vulcan. As Jim moved into the cubicle he instantly noticed that the water was far too cold for a Vulcan, hell it was far too cold for a human. Jim shut off the water and checked on Spock who was barely breathing and his pulse was far to thready and slow to be healthy. Jim picked Spock up with great difficulty because Vulcan's are a lot heavier than they look and Jim carried the unconscious man into Spock's quarters which were also far too cold for a Vulcan's physiology and Jim realised that Spock had done it on purpose.

"Computer raise temperature by 15 degrees." It was not as though the cold would slow the fever even though it should theoretically, it just suppressed the outward appearance and didn't actually affect the Plak-tow (the Vulcan Science Academy had already postulated and disproved that theory centuries ago).

There was an affirmation from the computer and the temperature in the room raised as Jim slowly and carefully carried Spock over to the bed. After Jim put him down gently, he went back into the bathroom and grabbed one of the large and fluffy towels, he walked back to Spock quickly and began to towel dry Spock and tried to get him warm. Whilst Jim was rubbing Spock's chest the unconscious man began to awaken and more than that he began to get aroused as Jim was taking care of him. Spock's eyes opened and locked on to Jim with an intensity that most people would believe was impossible for a Vulcan to possess.

"Jim." He breathed which startled Jim as he hadn't noticed Spock had woken up.

Jim looked up into Spock's eyes. Spock's eyes were completely blown, there was no brown coloured iris only the the black of his pupils.

"What the hell were you thinking Spock? You could have killed yourself." Demanded Jim.

"It was too hot, I was too hot." He moaned the last part of his sentence as he became more aroused at Jim's touch.

"I'm sorry Spock, there's nothing we can do but Bones is going to keep trying so don't give up just yet, okay?"

Jim tried to comfort Spock, he wanted to comfort Spock but he didn't know how to. Spock's temperature began to rise to normal levels (for a Vulcan which is about five degrees lower than humans) but then it continued to rise as the fever began to take grip again, sweat began to run down Spock's chest as his body tried to fight the fever. All Spock could think about was his captain and how cool, soothing but (also at the same time) arousing his captains hands were, he lifted his hand and began to stroke Jim's cheek. His mind delighted at the touch and his body began to thrum. He could smell Jim's scent and it was perfect, so delicious and sweet. He wanted more, he wanted to bury his head into Jim's neck and breath that scent in deeply.

"You are so beautiful my Jim." Spock knew now what he needed to do to survive, he knew now who was compatible, he had known as soon as Jim had touched him that they were compatible. Why hadn't he seen it earlier?

Jim pulled away shocked and a tiny bit afraid (not that he would admit to it). This isn't what he expected.

"What are you doing Spock?" Jim asked confused.

"You are going to be my mate Jim." He could feel that their minds were perfect for one another, his telepathy normally only worked when he touched something and lowered his mental shields but these weren't normal circumstances, when Jim had carried him from the bathroom his shields were non-existent and so his unconscious mind could feel their compatibility. Jim was his now and nothing would stop him from claiming what belonged to him.

Jim started to back away from Spock and head back towards the bathroom. Spock watched every move he made like a predator watched its prey. Spock could smell Jim's fear and whilst the logical and rational side of him would have been deterred, his internal pre-reform Vulcan side however was aroused.

"Spock, I like you but not like that. I'm not gay." Jim had never even been attracted to another male in his life and no matter how much he wanted to save Spock there was no way he was going to bed him to keep him alive. He might be known as a someone who slept with half of San Francisco but it wasn't true and there was no way he would ever sleep with a man.

"That does not matter my Jim, we are T'hy'la." The last was spoken with complete reverence and a great deal of lust, causing Jim to wince.

Spock sat up and Jim took another step back in response, putting himself further away from Spock. Jim turned to leave, he barely managed to take a single step before he was slammed up against the bulkhead wall winded, with a very horny and very strong Vulcan plastered against his back, fear and panic suddenly gripped Jim and he struggled to get free but Spock was having none of it. Spock held Jim in place with his left hand whilst his right hand travelled up and down Jim's half naked body, he enjoyed the feel of Jim's body next to his, Spock wanted to feel Jim's body close to his for the rest of their lives. The touch of Jim's body was heavenly against his overheated skin, Spock leant forward and licked at a bead of sweat that had run down the side of Jim's fearful face and it tasted delicious. Jim was his and he always would be, Spock would kill anyone to keep Jim at his side.

Jim continued to struggle against Spock, he couldn't believe how fast things had gotten out of hand, all he had wanted to do was help Spock but he didn't want this, he didn't want to help in this way.

"Spock don't do this. Please don't do this." He pleaded, hoping that Spock would see reason and let him go, it was a futile hope; Spock was too far gone into the Plak-Tow to see what he was ding was wrong.

Spock just growled dangerously in warning and Jim shut up instantly. Spock used his free hand to rip Jim's trousers and underwear off and then moved closer, he took a deep inhale of Jim's body at his collarbone. He bit Jim hard enough on the shoulder to break the skin and for Jim to cry out in pain, before he moved his teeth to Jim's neck and marked Jim again. Spock pushed even closer to Jim and then started to bite Jim's neck again at the same time as he separated Jim's legs by shoving his own legs in between Jim's thighs and then he brought his right hand up to Jim's temple, before pressing his fingers up against Jim's psi points.

"Spock don't do this, please. I'm begging you." Jim didn't want them to meld, he still had nightmares about the previous one he had been in, he couldn't bear to feel that much pain and suffering again. He didn't want to share his mind again, his mind was private. He managed to pull his face away from Spock's fingers and prevented them from melding, but he couldn't get far as Spock's hand was still pinning him to the bulkhead.

Spock growled again but this time Jim didn't listen. _Hoe dare his mate pull away?_

"Spock please. Just stop." He begged.

Spock just ignored Jim and continued trying to meld, finally Jim managed to find some additional courage and yelled at Spock.

"Commander! That is enough! I said stop!"

Jim was so focused on Spock's hand creeping closer to his meld points that he didn't notice the rest of Spock moving until he was impaled on Spock's very large and wide penis, Jim screamed out in pain and rage as he felt something inside tear due to the intrusion. Jim totally panicked but he still couldn't move and was therefore totally helpless when Spock began to forcefully and roughly fuck into him, Jim bit down hard his lip to stop himself from screaming even more.

"Mine T'hy'la. Mine." Spock had finally managed to capture his mate, soon they would be joined for life and nobody would ever be able to separate them. He would not give his mate up for anything.

"No Spock, never yours." Denied Jim, he refused to give in. he might not be able to stop the stronger male from abusing him but he wasn't going to just take it. "I'll never be yours Spock, never!"

Spock snarled, clearly his mate did not yet know his place and then he proceeded to fuck Jim faster and harder. The pain in Jim's ass was building to almost unimaginable levels and then he heard the words being muttered to take them into a mind meld.

"No Spock don't do this." He begged one last time, but he knew nothing would stop Spock.

Jim was helplessly sucked into the meld, Spock's mind felt like fire ripping through and burning his mind causing Jim to scream again and again. The intensity of fire and the pressure of the meld mixed with the pain kept building and pushed his endurance past his limit. Spock could feel Jim's distress and pain but he ignored it as he began to bind them together '_if my mate didn't struggle it wouldn't hurt so much'_. In Jim's head all he could hear was the chant of 'mine T'hy'la mine'. The pain got so intense and the pressure got so great that he thankfully lost consciousness. The last thing Jim felt was Spock still ploughing into his bruised and bloody body.

TBC

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Just checked still don't own star trek :(

_Italics- _Thought.

"_Italics"_- telepathic communication.

Chapter warnings- Rape, Non-con, violence, strong language.

Chapter 3

When Jim regained consciousness the next morning he found himself lying on his back on a standard issue bed without remembering how he got there or why he felt like he had been hit several times with a star ship, then the memory of the previous evening returned and he opened his eyes and let out a small pained and fearful groan. The first thing that he had seen was his first officer lying next to him naked, watching him as he had slept, and when he tried to move Spock held him in place with his left arm which had been slung over his waist and both of his hands had been pinned to the bed with Spock's right hand. The room was dimly lit (although he could see his first officers dilated pupils quite well) and far too hot for a human to be comfortable in, he knew then that he was still in Spock's quarters.

"Let me go." Jim's voice was barely more than a whisper as he had damaged his throat when he had screamed but Spock heard him loud and clear.

"I cannot, you will leave." He responded just as quietly.

"What do you expect?" Snapped Jim, ignoring the small part of the back of his mind that was sending out warning signals.

Spock moved closer towards Jim, he buried his head in Jim's sweat-damp hair and breathed in Jim's scent deeply. Spock had never smelt anything that was as arousing and addicting than Jim's scent.

"The fever has not yet left me; it has however abated for a while. I will need you again and again for the next few days until the fever has completely left me but until then you must stay with me." Jim whimpered at this, he remembered the pain and feared what would happen from now on. "I will get you some food, you are hungry."

This was said as a statement rather than posed as a question and Jim didn't know how Spock knew until he realised that Spock is a touch telepath and was currently holding his hand giving him Vulcan kisses (not that Jim knew what they were). Jim looked away, he had never felt so helpless or so angry.

"I won't eat it." He said defiantly.

Spock gently turned Jim's face back towards him and placed a hard but chaste kiss on Jim's lips. Jim felt revolted, he would never forgive Spock for this.

"You must eat to keep your strength up." Ordered Spock with a small growl._ Need you healthy mate, need to take care of you._

Jim glared at Spock.

"The only thing I **MUST** do is get out of here and as far away from you as possible." Jim snarled.

Spock kissed Jim hard on the lips again, Jim tried to pull away but Spock just held him in place, so Jim kept his mouth shut to try to deter Spock but Spock just kept going until eventually Jim opened his mouth to breathe but as soon as his lips parted; Spock's tongue entered and attempted to taste every inch of Jim's mouth, Spock finally pulled away after a few minutes although he kept nipping at Jim's bottom lip as though he didn't want to ever stop. Jim gasped for breath when he was released from the passionate kiss. Spock ran a finger down the edge of Jim's flushed face, chasing a bead of sweat that had fallen.

"You are so beautiful my Jim." _So beautiful, so perfect._

Jim flinched at Spock's casual use of his name.

"Don't call me that!"

"You always say that you want me to call you Jim." Spock responded confused, his head tilted to one side as though he was trying to solve a puzzle.

"That was before when I wanted to be your friend, when I trusted you. That was before you raped me, now I want nothing to do with you Commander. And as soon as I leave here you will be thrown in the brig and left to rot. I'll find another first officer and science officer, someone who I can actually trust to have my back." Jim snarled at his former first officer.

Spock looked into Jim's electric blue eyes and saw the pain he had caused. _If he did not resist so much I would not be able to hurt him, if he would just submit to me he would not be in pain. _

"You can trust me." Spock said and it was true, he would never allow anyone to harm his mate again.

Jim snorted in derision.

"You've raped me and are planning on doing it again. How exactly am I supposed to trust you?"

Spock didn't have an answer for that so he didn't respond; he just started to stroke Jim's cheek gently and lovingly.

"Stop that, stop touching me." Jim squirmed trying to get away, all it succeeded in doing was raising Spock's ire and the Vulcan's need to dominate his mate.

"Shush Jim, my T'hy'la." _Calm yourself my mate, my Jim._

"I told you not to call me that."

Spock moved so that he was on top of his captain, he gently but firmly nudged Jim's legs apart, Jim realised what was happening and started to struggle again.

"Jim, stop struggling. You will only hurt yourself." _Relax my mate, relax Jim and it will not hurt. You must submit to me. _

"I can't hurt myself any more than you already have." Retorted Jim, his defiance was grating on the Vulcan's fraught nerves.

Spock sighed audibly. He put the hand he was pinning Jim's wrists to the bed on Jim's waist, causing Jim to flinch again, which kept Jim in place as he used his left hand to reach over to the bedside cabinet and open the top drawer and remove a tube, he settled back down in between Jim's thighs. Jim's fear began to grow even more after he saw what the tube contains; lubricant.

"Spock please. Not again, please." Cried Jim.

Spock gave no other response than to pour the lubricant liberally over his engorged penis, he dropped the half empty tube onto the floor and then started to rub the lubricant onto his penis making sure that it covered the entire surface of his penis, he also made sure to coat his fingers as well in order to prepare Jim.

"Spock please stop." Jim begged and when that didn't work he tried using his 'Captains voice' "Commander I order you to stop."

Spock looked up into his commanding officers face and encountered nothing but terror and pain in his eyes. He gently kissed Jim's lips, Jim recoiled in response causing Spock to feel a great deal of emotional pain and caused his fever to spike. Spock slowly slipped his finger into Jim's torn, tender and bloody ass which caused Jim to cry out in pain.

"Spock. No!"

"Shush my T'hy'la." _Be calm my mate, it will not last long. The fever saps my stamina._

Spock slipped another finger in and then started to scissor his fingers to open up Jim wide enough to take him again. Spock's fingers hit Jim's prostrate, which caused Jim to cry out again this time in (unwanted and completely unexpected) pleasure, so Spock repeatedly hit it, Jim began to sob (he felt so violated and helpless, no one had ever made Jim feel this bad). Spock removed his fingers and immediately felt the loss of the intimate touch with Jim but then he raised Jim's ass with his hands, letting go of Jim's wrists in the process and slipped his penis in. Jim screamed out in agony, he started to hit Spock on his chest (but the blows were nothing to a Vulcan in heat, they were nothing to a Vulcan full stop), then Jim tried to push him off but Spock was too strong and just grabbed Jim's hands and held them down again before he started to slowly fuck into Jim again.

"Jim Ashayam, you are so beautiful. So perfect. My mate, only mine." _Mine Jim, say that you are mine._

Jim screamed again, Spock moved Jim's hands to above his head and held them in place with his left hand whilst his right hand came down and covered Jim's mouth.

"Jim, my Jim, Ashayam shush." _Predators may hear us mate, be calm, relax._

Spock moved faster becoming rougher and rougher as the fever began to return, he started to pound into Jim's body hitting Jim's prostrate every time, Jim became hard and without Spock touching his penis Jim orgasmed and sobbed even more. Not long after Jim's orgasm Spock also felt release and coated Jim's insides with his own powerful orgasm.

Jim passed out again but Spock didn't seem too worried, he pulled out of Jim gently and walked straight into the bathroom, he took a quick sonic shower before he grabbed cleaning materials from the cupboard above the sink to wash and tend to Jim. Once Jim was cleaned up Spock retrieved his hidden medical scanner and dermal regenerator, he ran the scanner over Jim's body where he found only bruising and some tearing in Jim's ass. So Spock used the regenerator on Jim's ass a couple of times, making sure that it heals completely as he did not want an infection to set in. He then put away the two devices, stalked over to the replicator and ordered up some fruit and water before he returned to the bed and to Jim, he placed the fruit and water onto the bedside cabinet and lay down on the bed.

He pulled Jim into his arms and placed Jim's head on his chest and started stroking Jim's hair. Spock lay there for a few hours just enjoying the feel of having Jim in his arms. Spock pulled Jim in closer towards his body and rested Jim's head on his shoulder and gently kissed Jim's shoulder. Spock's time sense came back and he realised that Jim was expected on the bridge for alpha shift which was in just four hours time, he contemplated a plan but he knew that Jim would never go along with it. What was worse was that the infuriating Doctor McCoy would immediately suspect that something was wrong and he would come barging in, try (and fail) to take his mate from him and that would be unacceptable. Spock joined their minds together and sent calming and loving feelings towards Jim whilst strengthening their bond.

Spock smiled and withdrew from Jim's mind when he felt the human regain consciousness again but quickly schooled his face back into its expressionless mask. Jim tried to pull away and this time Spock let him as he knew that Jim wouldn't try to run.

"Jim Ashayam, I am gratified to see you awake."

Jim rolled onto his side and faced away from Spock, so that the Vulcan could not see the tears that fell.

"I wouldn't have lost consciousness if you hadn't hurt me."

Jim tried to leave the bed but Spock just drew Jim back into his arms and nuzzled the back of his mate's neck.

"Let me go." Jim whispered brokenly. "Please."

Spock turned his mate's face and looked into Jim's beautiful eyes. "Jim, the fever will be gone in a few days, then I will let you go. But until then you must remain with me." _Stay with me, become mine always._

Jim again tried to pull away.

"Ashayam, I've already told you; you cannot leave my side."

Jim turned away from Spock and mumbled a sentence so quietly that even Spock's Vulcan ears could not hear it.

"What was that Jim?" Asked Spock confused.

Jim still did not look at Spock and mumbled only slightly louder but it was loud enough for Spock to discern the meaning.

"I will allow you to go to the bathroom however I will not allow you out of my sight."

Jim stared at Spock horrified.

"You're going to watch me?"

Spock nodded his head once. Jim glanced away again and extracted himself from Spock's arms, Spock allowed Jim to leave his embrace and get off the bed, he watched as Jim headed towards the bathroom limping slightly. Spock left the warmth and comfort of the bed and caught up to his mate. He nuzzled Jim's neck and then walked with Jim into the bathroom. Whilst they were in the bathroom Spock didn't actually touch Jim; he permitted Jim to take care of his biological and sanitary needs with out interfering however he found it incredibly difficult to keep his hands to himself when Jim was in the shower as the possibility of them becoming injured was high due to Spock's lowered co-ordination (though maybe later on in the Pon-farr when he was more in control he might take Jim into the shower for some fun).

Reluctantly Jim limped back towards Spock's quarters but then he suddenly attempted to make a break for it and he tried to run into his quarters unfortunately Spock had predicted that Jim would try to escape and so caught Jim and wrapped his arms around the man with ease.

"Ashayam, you should not try to escape. I will not allow you to. You are just wasting valuable energy." _Why do you try to run? You must stay with me, you must always stay with me._

Jim whimpered as Spock lead him back into the first officers quarters. Spock directed him over to the bed and then made him get in. Spock climbed into the bed as well and covered them both with the quilt. Spock leant back and grabbed some of the fruit which he had placed on the bedside cabinet and held it out to Jim.

"You should eat Ashayam."

Jim knocked the food out of Spock's hand with a slap.

"Jim you must eat." _Mate why do you defy me so? Submit to me, be claimed by me. You are mine._

"We've been through this before I'm not going to eat anything you give me." Snapped Jim again in anger and defiance.

Spock sighed again, this time in frustration as Jim tried to escape again.

"Jim, T'hy'la stop." _Stop fighting this, stop fighting us, you belong to me mate, mine only mine._

"Why? You don't even when I beg you to." Jim retorted.

Spock sighed again as he stroked Jim's hair and Jim flinched away.

"What do you plan on doing if I let you go?" Spock asked, _Stay with me mate._

Jim taken by surprise answered honestly. "I'm going to go straight to McCoy and have you arrested and dumped off my ship at the first chance."

Spock snarled at the mention of Jim's best friend but took a deep breath to calm himself and then tried to organise his thoughts and feelings.

"I cannot allow that to happen. I will no allow us to be parted, you are mine."

Jim glared at Spock in hatred, Spock appeared to be unperturbed but looks could be deceiving and Spock's heart ached as Jim turned away from him once more.

"Doesn't matter anyway, if the crew don't see me for a few days especially if I don't turn up for my shift they'll figure out something is wrong and they'll come looking for me and when they find me; I'll tell them exactly what happened and you'll be arrested anyway. So it really doesn't make any difference however you may wish to let me go sooner or it'll be worse for you when they do find me and they will."

Spock growled at the thought of someone taking his T'hy'la away from him.

"No one will take you away from me. You are mine."

"I am not yours! I am not a possession. You do not control me. You do not own me."

_Not a possession but mine; my mate, my T'hy'la, my Jim. _

Jim began to scramble and fight against Spock once again, Spock easily pushed him back down onto the bed. Jim snarled and punched him in the face (and when his hand connected with Spock's jaw; he heard a bone in one of his fingers break), Spock didn't even flinch, he just pushed Jim's hands up until they are above his head, then he separated Jim's thighs again. Jim struggled to keep his legs together but human fear is nothing compared to Vulcan strength and Spock easily parted Jim's muscular thighs. Jim was quickly being overwhelmed by panic.

"Let me go Spock!"

_Stop resisting, it will be worse for you mate. Calm yourself, calm mate._

Spock pushed his cock into Jim's ass again, Jim screamed in agony repeatedly. Spock melded with Jim again, Jim resisted and threw up as many mental defences as he could think of (which there were a great deal) but Spock just broke through them with ease.

"_You cannot hide from me Ashayam. Do not try."_

"_Get out of my head asshole."_

"_No. Not until you understand." Stay mine, stay with me. Need you, need mate. Mine, always mine._

"_No you don't understand, I don't want you. I don't care about you any more, you are nothing to me. And if I never see your face again it will be too soon. Now get the fuck out of my head you fucking animal."_

Spock could feel all of Jim's emotions; pain, sadness, fear, anger and hatred. He could discern no good feelings at all let alone any directed towards himself. This made him feel even more depressed but he had made sure to keep his shields in place so that Jim did not know what he was feeling. He knew now that Jim would never understand or accept what had happened and would never again care for or even trust him.

"_You are incorrect in your statement Jim. I do understand."_

And with that Spock pulled out of the meld.

"But that does not mean you can leave nor that I can stop."

Spock's fever peaked again and he continued to fuck Jim roughly, making Jim scream and beg in alternative turns, tears streamed down Jim's face which Spock gently wiped away even as he plundered Jim's body.

"Shush my Jim it will be over soon. Do not cry Ashayam."

After a few minutes Spock felt his climax building and scant seconds later he released into Jim's unwilling and strung out body. Spock lay on top of Jim but kept most of his weight off of Jim by using his elbows to stop his weight from suffocating Jim accidentally.

"I hate you." Whispered Jim.

Spock hanged his head in shame and sadness, it hurt, oh gods did it hurt Spock to hear those three words be spoken aloud.

"Yes I know and I am truly sorry." _Don't want to hurt you Jim, my Jim._

"No Spock, if you were sorry you wouldn't keep me here."

"Do you think that I want to keep you here? Do you not think that I wish there was another way? Do you not think that I wish you were willing, that you understood? Do not believe that I had the intention of forcing you... of raping you Jim. I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt you like this." _Never hurt mate, never wanted to cause mate pain, need you, want you, mine._

Jim looked up at Spock beseechingly and Spock's heart clenched tightly.

"Then why? Why wont you let me go? Why do you continue to force yourself on me? Why do you continue to..." Jim's breath hitched "To rape me?"

Spock kept his eyes averted from Jim's unable to cope with seeing the pain that was surely reflected in them.

"Because I have no choice, no control. My logic flees when I most need it, the warrior instincts of species are too strong. I cannot fight them and so I must claim you. I must destroy everything we could be together just to stay alive. I have tried meditation and that failed, I even tried to freeze the fever away, to at least dampen it until we can get too New Vulcan and that failed. The instincts of my ancestors and the fever are too strong. I have never hated being a Vulcan more than I do right now. You are my T'hy'la and I have hurt you and that is insufferable. You are mine to protect and I have hurt you." _Never want to hurt mate, want to protect, to love._

Spock finally raised his head and looked into Jim's eyes, he saw the pain he had inflicted on his mate and he flinched. He could feel the fever building again and it made him feel sick. He tried hard to will it away but he knew that it was useless. He knew that he had destroyed any chance of a friendship or even something more with the beautiful man who was lying defeated underneath him.

He also knew that he could not leave Jim's side because they were bonded and until Jim got them to the colony on New Vulcan they will continue to be, furthermore until the bond settled or was broken they could not move too far apart physically (about 100 feet) from each other as that would cause both of them immeasurable pain. Spock believed that he should suffer because of what he's done but he does not want Jim to suffer; not now, not ever.

The fever continued to rise and Spock acknowledged that he only had a few minutes before he forced himself on Jim yet again. So he pulled out and gently but thoroughly prepared Jim, stretching him, he tried to make it feel good for Jim but Jim felt no enjoyment. Jim began to cry again and that heart broken sob broke Spock's already bruised heart too.

"The fever is rising again, I am sorry Jim."

"But... but... you... the fever. You only just..."

Spock stroked Jim's cheek, wiping away the tears that fell freely from his mate's eyes.

"I know, the fever is unpredictable. I am sorry Jim." And he truly was.

Jim didn't respond, he just turned his face away and closed his eyes in frustration and defeat. Spock kissed Jim's forehead causing to Jim cringe. Tears fell from the Vulcan's eyes and landed on the pillow next to Jim's head.

"Taluhk nash-ver k'dular (I cherish thee) Jim." _Love you mate, need you._

Again Jim didn't respond. Spock gently entered Jim causing him to whimper in pain. The fever finally took over and Spock transformed into a pre-reform Vulcan celebrating its dominance over its claimed mate. He forcefully took his mate, this time he fucked Jim so hard that the bed broke and they fell to the floor, his grip was so hard on Jim's waist that the bruises began to almost instantly form. Jim's screaming continued (he regretted ever having the first officers and captains quarters sound-proofed to allow for private discussions) as their sweat covered bodies ground together, what had he done to deserve this?

At that moment though the door to Spock's quarters opened and doctor McCoy stepped into the room. He saw immediately what was happening and was horrified (his first thought was that he's only walked in on them having sex even though he knew Jim had only ever been with women as he also knew that Jim would do anything to save a member of his crew, though Leonard didn't think he would do this) but it quickly morphed into fury and hate when he saw the blood and realised that Jim was trying to escape. Spock ignored the doctor and continued to pound into Jim, Jim was by now hoarse from all the screaming and started to sob, he didn't see McCoy until the man stepped up to Spock and attempted to hypo him into oblivion unfortunately Spock had sensed and heard him approach and grabbed the hypospray before crushing it with one hand. Then he punched McCoy so hard in the face that he knocked the unlucky doctor out instantly.

"Bones!" Cried Jim causing Spock to snarl. Jim's attention should only ever be focused on him. _Look at me mate, only me._

Jim looked terrified but Spock took no heed and carried on fucking him. Eventually Spock hit Jim's prostrate so hard that Jim came again and again. Jim passed out quickly after his orgasm and then only seconds later Spock also climaxed. Spock pulled out gently, walked into the bathroom and had another shower before heading back into his rooms and cleaning Jim up. Spock realised that with McCoy here, there could be a chance that Jim may have time to escape back to his own quarters and call for help, so once his mate was clean Spock walked quickly into Jim's quarters and destroyed both the comm console and Jim's personal communication unit before throwing the remains away. The Vulcan stalked back into his own quarters and did the same to his own units, he would not let Jim escape, he belonged to Spock now. He ignored the unconscious doctor on the floor as he climbed back onto the broken bed and pulled Jim into his arms before he himself lost consciousness.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Dammit still don't own star trek.

A/N: Apologies for the late upload.

Chapter 4

Jim awakened once more in bed next to Spock. He immediately remembered McCoy entering the room and being knocked out. He hoped his best friend was okay, that he was still alive. Jim gulped hard, he didn't know what he would do if McCoy was dead.

"Bones?" He called out, hoping it would wake his brother in all but blood but the was no response from the side of the bed.

Spock who was awake and watching his mate once again growled at the mention of Dr McCoy's nickname. Jim took no heed of the warning, he needed to know that his friend was okay, he didn't care any more about what would happen to himself just as long as bones was alive.

"Bones are you OK?" He called again.

Spock pulled Jim in closer to his body and buried his head in Jim's neck, Jim started to struggle once more as he hoped that McCoy would be able to help him.

"Bones! Help me!"

McCoy started to awaken and Spock continued to growl into Jim's neck. It intensified as Jim persisted in trying to struggle.

"Mine T'hy'la."_ My mate, mine. Do not think of others, do not look at others, do not talk to others. Mine, only mine._

"Bones please."

Spock bit his captain hard on the neck (marking him once again as clearly Jim hadn't yet worked out who he belonged to) and drew blood, Jim cried out in pain causing McCoy to completely wake up. Although the doctor was feeling quite dizzy and nauseas he grabbed another hypo filled with a strong sedative and jabbed it quickly into Spock's neck. Spock attempted to fight the sedative but lost the short battle and quickly fell unconscious.

The first thing that McCoy did was to drag the unconscious Vulcan off the bed and far away from Jim. The Vulcan was deceptively heavy and when he dropped Spock the Vulcan's head hit the floor quite hard not that the other two occupants in the room cared about the injury the fall had inflicted on the Vulcan's face. McCoy did however swear like a sailor when he managed to get a good long look at Jim (there were bruises all over his body and blood dripping from his ass, chest and neck from numerous bite marks and scratches).

"Fucking hell kid, I'll kill that blasted animal for what he has done to you. Fucking piece of worthless shit."

The man pulled Jim into a gentle hug which Jim return with as much vigour as he could (which in hindsight was not a lot), then the doctor carefully picked his best friend up and carried him through the bathroom and straight through into Jim's quarters, he would allow Jim to shower later once all his injuries were taken care of. He slowly and cautiously placed Jim on the bed and then fetched his med-kit from where he had dropped it in Spock's quarters, he kept up a running commentary of everything he was doing when Jim showed reluctance at McCoy leaving his sight.

The doctor came running back into Jim's quarters as he didn't want to stay away from Jim too long, and found the younger man on the floor, throwing up and sobbing. McCoy immediately raced over to Jim and started rubbing his back softly but pulled away slightly when Jim flinched minutely from his touch.

"Oh Jim, I'm so sorry. If I had known I'd have gotten here sooner. I'm sorry Jim. Don't worry I'm never gonna let him anywhere near you. He will never hurt you again I promise." There was a fierce conviction in his voice and a steeliness that Jim had never heard before and Jim thanked whatever God/s are out there for McCoy.

"Bones it hurts, please."Whimpered Jim, who looked a lot younger than he usually did, and his eyes had a lost, haunted look in them that McCoy wanted to remove instantly.

Leonard pulled a hypo-spray filled with a Jim Kirk approved pain reliever out from his med-kit and gently pressed it against Jim's neck. Kirk sighed in relief as pain receded slightly and eventually he stopped throwing up, after a few minutes of slow deep breathes Jim slowly sat up and McCoy tugged him into another gentle hug. Jim placed his still aching head on McCoy's shoulder and closed his tired eyes, McCoy gave him a squeeze and kissed Jim's temple.

"What happened Jim?"

Jim sniffled and moved closer to his friend but didn't answer his friends question. Jim struggled to bring his breathing and tears under control. He took a few deep breaths and swallowed some water when given it by McCoy, who had retrieved it from the bedside cabinet next to them. He made sure that Jim kept sipping small amounts of water as he didn't want to overwhelm Jim's system and cause him to throw up again.

"Can you tell me what happened kid?"

Jim nodded his head slowly, he reached a hand up to grab his hair and took several more deep breaths as he forced himself to remember what had happened.

"I found him in the... in the shower. He was unconscious and so cold... so I carried him into his quarters, I started to dry him off and I raised the room temperature." Jim whispered unable to speak any louder.

Jim started to cry again, he felt so weak, so helpless and he hated it, he was supposed to be a fearless Star-fleet captain and right at this moment he felt like a lost little boy. McCoy wanted desperately to tell Jim that he didn't have to continue but he also knew that Jim would feel so much better when he got it all out in the open, otherwise it would fester and cause more pain in the long run.

"He began to wake up, he told me I was beautiful. That freaked me out, I tried to leave but he slammed me up against the bulkhead... he wouldn't let me leave. Why wouldn't he let me leave?"

"I don't know kid, how many... how many times did he force himself on you?" Asked McCoy with fear.

"I... I don't know, I don't want to remember. I lost conscious a few times." McCoy swore viciously, he couldn't believe how many times Jim had been attacked.

"When did you find him?"

"Just after shift I was planning on having a shower and seeing if you were free for dinner."

McCoy gripped Jim tighter, the doctor had to blink rapidly to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Shit kid." He murmured quietly, he couldn't believe how long Jim had been locked up with that monster.

Jim raised his head slowly and he gazed into Leonard's eyes, the doctor's heart broke at the lost look in his best friends eyes, a look that hadn't been there only a few short days ago.

"What Bones?" Jim asked quietly.

"That was two days ago."

Jim began to hyperventilate, he hyperventilated so much so that he started to turn blue from lack of oxygen so McCoy quickly used a very mild sedative. Jim eventually managed to get his breathing back under control, he was so tired of being so weak and emotional, he kept thinking about how pathetic he obviously was- of course if Leonard had heard what Jim was thinking he would have probably smacked the back of the man's head (clearly it would only be a gentle smack as Jim had already been badly abused) and then told him he was being an idiot and had just been through a traumatic experience that had broken a lot of people from all walks of life and not all of them had the strength to keep going.

"OK kid, you don't have to say any more at the moment if you don't want to, although you will have to have some counselling. Do you want to continue with this now?"

Jim shook his head, he didn't want to talk about it; not now not ever. McCoy tugged him back in close and kissed Jim on the forehead in a clear sign of parental affection. McCoy looked around the room and when he saw that the comm unit and Jim's PADD were missing he swore silently, obviously that Vulcan bastard had taken them so Jim couldn't escape.

"Right so this is what is going to happen now. First I'm gonna help you get dressed, second I'm gonna take you to sickbay where your injuries are going to be recorded and then treated and third I'm going to send security to deal with the bastard because there is no way I'm going to let him stay a free man; not after what he has done to you." Hell if McCoy could arrange _and_ get away with it he would make sure that Spock didn't end up staying a live man let alone a free man.

Jim nodded slightly and McCoy helped him stand up. Leonard picked out a plain black t-shirt and a pair of soft and easy to put on sweatpants and then helped Jim to get dressed, it took a few minutes because Jim was feeling weak from blood loss and dehydration.

"Can you walk OK?" He asked in concern, if Jim couldn't then McCoy would just have to carry Jim out of the room.

Jim nodded his head (and Leonard sighed slightly in relief), he still felt nauseous and could barely stand but he wanted out of his quarters (which looked so much like Spock's, as neither had many personal effects and the rooms were mirrors of each other) as soon as possible. Just then the bathroom door opened and Spock stalked through the door, he looked totally pissed off and what was worse was the Vulcan was still naked and the two humans could see that Spock was clearly still aroused, there was also green blood dripping from a cut on the left side Vulcan's face just above the perfectly sculpted eyebrow. Jim went sheet white in fear, Spock eyes raked over his mate as he made sure that Jim was still healthy before he took a step towards him but McCoy suddenly moved in between them and blocked Jim from Spock's sight.

"Dammit I hoped the fucker would be out for longer." McCoy muttered under his breath but the Vulcan still heard him clearly.

Spock growled and moved forward towards the threat to his bond and to his bond-mate. Spock had never felt such terror as when he had woken up to find Jim was gone, fortunately he was not deeper in the Plak Tow otherwise he might have completely lost his mind and what little sanity he possessed at the moment, it helped that he could also feel the marriage bond that had formed between him and his mate.

"You are not getting anywhere near him." Snapped McCoy, there was no way he would let that animal near Jim again.

Spock snarled and looked directly at McCoy. _My mate, mine. Stay away from my mate. _The Vulcan took a deep breath and tried to restrain his instincts which were demanding that he kill the interloper who stood between him and his mate.

"Doctor, it would be best for you to get out of my way or else I will be forced to permanently incapacitate you. You will let me near my Jim." Spock forced himself to speak, to try and solve this problem without resorting to violence.

McCoy grew even more furious. How dare that animal threaten _him_ when Spock was the one to attack Jim in the first place.

"And why the hell would I do that?"

"Because we are bond-mates and if you attempt to take him from me my warrior instincts will surface and I will be forced to claim him in front of you and to kill you. Also we are newly bonded if he moves too far from me or I from him then he will end up in a great deal of pain." It was only a half-lie, there was no way he would allow anyone to see him be intimate with Jim, nor would he allow anyone to see his mate naked. He didn't think that he would kill McCoy either, even in his rage as Jim would never forgive him.

Comprehension crossed McCoy's face and it went red with barely contained rage. A bead of sweat appeared on Spock's brow as the fever began to rise again, he also shifted his focus back to Jim (who stood there silent and trembling in fear). Spock started to stalk towards his mate.

"So you didn't just rape his body, you also raped his mind."

Spock stopped walking towards Jim when he saw the terror on Jim's face. He glanced back at McCoy. He looked momentarily ashamed of his actions.

"Yes I did and I apologise for my behaviour and treatment of Jim however I still have need of him and you cannot be permitted to stop me, I will not allow you to stop me."

"Jim get out of here and call security." Fortunately there was a comm unit just outside the Captains quarters just in case of an emergency (although McCoy doubted that the engineers and designers of the ship would have believed that the Commander of the ship would attack the captain and steal the comm unit away).

Spock smiled cruelly at McCoy causing a shiver of fear to run through the doctor.

"Do not think that you can hold me off before my Jim gets to the door. In less than thirty seconds you will be unconscious and he will be in my arms." There was no doubt in any of their minds that Spock could do exactly what he threatened to do.

Jim whimpered in response. Spock looked back at Jim and so did McCoy, whilst Leonard's eyes were filled with affection and protectiveness, Spock's were filled with lust and anger.

"Kid go now." Demanded McCoy.

Jim took a step back towards the door, Spock growled. Jim looked at Spock beseechingly.

"Please let me go."

His voice was barely a whisper and it was hoarse from all the screaming he had done. Spock shook his head, there was now a glint of true sorrow in his eyes.

"I cannot Jim. Ashayam it is only for a few more days."

Jim felt nauseas again at the thought of spending any more time with his ex-executive officer and shook his head as well.

"I cant, you... I don't want you anywhere near me."

McCoy watched the exchange with a scowl on his face. He prepared himself to fight Spock, to give Jim just a few minutes or even only a few seconds to allow the poor kid to escape.

"Jim! For God's sake just get out of here. Now!"

Jim looked one last time at McCoy gratefully and then turned and ran to the door only to find Spock in front of him, Jim spun around and to his horror he saw that McCoy lay prone on the floor; not moving. He felt to his disgust Spock slide his arms around his waist and the Vulcan pulled him flush against Spock's body. Jim panicked, he didn't know what to do; he knew he couldn't fight off Spock (after all it wasn't like he hadn't tried) and so McCoy was the only one who could help him.

"Bones! Wake up!Please!" _Please don't be dead, please don't die because of me._ Thought Jim desperately. _If there is any one up there, please don't let Bones be dead._

Spock nuzzled up against Jim's neck and he started marking Jim again; biting hard on Jim's shoulder, there was now a line of deep bite marks across Jim's throat and both shoulders that would scar and never fade. Spock removed one hand from his mates waist and used it to rip off Jim's clothes allowing him access to more glorious skin. He nipped at the back of Jim's neck and turned Jim around slowly, never once giving Jim time to slip from his grasp. He gently stroked Jim's cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the many tears that had started to fall silently.

"Bones!" He whispered brokenly. _Please don't be dead, I need you, please._

"Do not worry Ashayam, he is simply unconscious. I do not wish for him to interrupt our activities."

A small amount of hope shot through the captain but when he felt the sweat begin to pour off of Spock's body it disappeared to be replaced by terror. Jim's own body began to perspire due to the heat that was rolling off of Spock. Jim looked straight into Spock's eyes, anger and hatred obvious in his own.

"I will never forgive you for hurting him and as soon as we arrive at New Vulcan I'm gonna have the bond broken and then I'm gonna dump you on Delta Vega and leave you there to freeze your ass off." He promised, it was the least that deserved to happen to his former first officer.

Spock moved his right hand and slid up Jim's body until it reached behind Jim's neck and then pulled Jim into a deep but startlingly gentle kiss, especially because there was a huge amount of lust in Spock's eyes and it was painfully obvious that he wanted to take the younger man to bed. Spock then picked up Jim, carried him across the room and lay him down on the bed.

"Are you going to struggle?" _Do not struggle mate, do not fight me. I claim you, I possess you, you are mine now, mine always._

Spock's voice was ragged and dripping with lust. Jim defiantly looked at Spock, even though he was terrified he was not going to make this any easier for Spock.

"I wont let you do this to me. Not again."

Jim tried to make his escape but Spock had already anticipated what Jim was about to do just held him down and prevented Jim from being able to move at all.

"I'm sorry Ashayam. I must." _Need you, desire you. My mate, mine._

"Please. Oh god please Spock. don't do this." Begged Jim, this had to be a nightmare, this couldn't be happening again.

Jim began to punch and kick Spock as hard as possible but it was to no avail, Spock barely even felt the hits. Spock climbed on top of Jim, he was still being careful about placing his weight on Jim and forced his mate's legs open again, Jim whimpered quietly as he did so. Spock lined up their bodies and penetrated Jim for the sixth time in less than forty-eight hours. Jim started to scream once more but Spock was too far gone in the fever to care and forced himself deeper and deeper into his unwilling mate. Spock again melded with Jim cementing their new marriage bond, making it permanent. Jim continued to futilely resist but Spock's mind was too powerful and far more experienced.

"_T'hy'la mine T'hy'la." __Spock's mind whispered to Jim._

"_No Spock, I'll never be yours. Never." __Snarled back Jim._

Spock climaxed once again during the meld and brought Jim over the edge with him. Spock pulled out of Jim's mind and then out of Jim's body before he lay down next to Jim. Spock wrapped his arms around Jim as he did so and pulled Jim in close in close. He placed his head into the crook of Jim's neck and inhaled deeply, loving the scent of his beautiful mate. Jim started to sob again, so Spock tugged him in closer to his body, and to Spock's joy he felt the fever diminish significantly but unfortunately not fade away completely. He took in a deep breath of relief.

"It is almost over T'hy'la. Once or twice more and the fever will be gone. Ashayam I am truly sorry for these last few days and I know you will never forgive me. Everything I have is yours. Everything I am is yours."

"I don't want your stuff Spock. I don't want you. I'll never want you."

Spock looked miserable but nodded his agreement.

"I know Ashayam. I know. We will be at New Vulcan soon. Just rest now Jim. The next time will not be so rough; the fever has almost burnt out."

Jim tried to pull away and Spock sensing his thoughts allowed him to. Jim rolled over onto his side knowing that it was pointless to try and escape and so didn't even try to.

"Sleep Ashayam." Spock ordered softly. "Sleep and be at peace, I will not harm you. I promise."

Spock stroked Jim's psi points sending soothing feelings so that Jim would drift off into a peaceful and restful sleep. Jim tried valiantly to resist as he didn't trust Spock but he was emotionally exhausted and was slowly lulled into sleep. Once Spock was satisfied that Jim was fast asleep he slowly climbed out of the bed, the first thing he did was to check up on McCoy to make sure that he wouldn't be waking any time soon (and there may have been a small part of him that felt remorse for attacking the doctor).

He walked quickly into the bathroom and soaked a couple of rags into warm water with a bit of soap, he then soaked a third in just water and took them into Jim's quarters, he then went back into the bathroom for a large dry towel. Spock walked back into Jim's room where he smiled at the sight of Jim still sleeping peacefully. He used the first two rags to start cleaning Jim's body gently and carefully, but as gentle as he tried to be it still caused Jim to whimper in his sleep, so Spock sent more soothing waves of affection at him, he finished cleaning Jim off and wiped him over with the third wet rag to get rid of all the soap before he gently dabbed at Jim's wet skin to dry it with the towel. He took the towels back into the bathroom and dumped them into the sink before leaving the room and locking the bathroom door so that Jim didn't try to escape yet again.

Once his task was completed he strolled over to Jim's replicator and ordered up some food and drink for both him and Jim (he would wake Jim in a few hours and make sure that his mate consumed something, but until then he would let his mate sleep and recuperate. He did think about going and getting the dermal regenerator and medical scanner but decided against it.), he sat down at the desk and ate his half of the fruit and he also drank half the carafe of water, leaving the rest for Jim to enjoy later.

Spock sat for a while pondering what was going to happen to him after this incident got out, he hoped (although hope is illogical) that Nyota would understand even if she didn't agree with what he had done, but that was the best he could hope for because he knew this crew were totally loyal to Jim (and not necessarily Starfleet) so they would defend Jim with all that they are, even though it had only been one month since they had set out on their five year mission.

He knew that his father would keep him out of prison by using his diplomatic immunity but only because he was the soul heir to the House of Surak (as his older brother Sybok had died along with Vulcan). Spock placed his head in his hands and started to weep, he hoped that they'll arrive at New Vulcan soon so that he could no longer be around Jim (and that thought broke him into pieces but it also fortunately broke through the fever).

When Spock realised that he was no longer in pon-farr he walked over to Jim, knelt down beside the bed and kissed his mate's temple, whilst stroking Jim's hair. He knelt there silently next to Jim for 5.3 minutes before he realised that he could not voluntarily move himself from Jim's side and so with a small amount of reluctance (after all he was no longer in Pon-farr) he lay down on the bed and pulled Jim into his arms before he cried himself into a surprisingly deep sleep.

TBC

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	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nope still don't own star trek.

A/N: I cant do accents. I've tried and they didn't work so if it gets confusing let me know and if you have any hints or tips please feel free to tell me.

Chapter 5

Spock was again the first to awaken in the Captain's quarters, he smiled slightly when he saw that his T'hy'la was still lying in his arms but that smile vanished instantly when he realised that this would probably be the last time that he could ever hold Jim in his arms. Spock listened as he heard a commotion coming from out side of Jim's quarters, when Spock understood what was happening he pulled Jim into closer to himself and kissed his mate's forehead but was careful not to wake Jim, he didn't want their last minutes together to be spent with his mate trying to leave. He noticed that some of Jim's cuts had reopened and therefore had bled during the night but he didn't dare to move away from Jim to fetch the dermal regenerator as someone was trying to break in to the room.

It took a few minutes longer than Spock expected for Scotty to break into the room and the first thing the lieutenant commander saw was the captain lying naked in Spock's arms covered in cuts, bruises and blood, the second thing he saw was McCoy's body lying unconscious on the floor and third the room reeked of blood and sex. Now Scotty was very intelligent and so put two and two together and got the correct answer of four.

"What the fuck has gone here?" He demanded in his thick Scottish accent, he didn't get an answer not that he actually expected one.

A security team entered the room as soon as Scotty had cleared the door along with a medical team; the medical team headed straight over to McCoy whilst Scotty took several steps towards Spock. Spock watched Scotty move and pulled Jim in closer to him and snarled at the engineer who stepped back immediately, his hands in the age old meaning of being no threat.

"What happened Commander?" Demanded Scotty, though he had the gist of the situation, he still asked as he hoped desperately that he was wrong.

Whilst Scotty was trying to ascertain what had happened the medical team had managed to rouse McCoy and healed the huge bruise on the Doctor's face, whom upon seeing what was going on answered the Scot's question.

"He attacked the Captain, that's what happened." Snarled McCoy, his loathing clear in his voice. The man stood up and took several steps towards the Vulcan. "Let Jim go or I will kill you, you fucking prick. You know I would do it in a heartbeat. Now let him go."

Everyone in the room looked shocked and were unsure what to do, the medical team moved towards Jim as well but stopped when Spock growled again.

"You've got to get that animal away from Jim before he hurts him again." Snapped McCoy, when he saw their hesitance.

The security team moved towards Spock with their phasers drawn. The security chief Lieutenant Giotto moved closest to Spock.

"Commander I need you to get of the bed and away from the Captain." He commanded.

Spock didn't respond; he didn't want to move, he knew he had done something wrong but he could not find it in himself to move away from Jim voluntarily. Giotto walked another step forward and aimed his phaser at Spock when he noticed that Jim had begun to regain consciousness. Jim tried to pull away from Spock instinctively as he did so he discovered that there was other people in the room. He turned and looked at Scotty.

"Help me." He pleaded, he was too physically weak, emotionally drained and dehydrated to care at the moment at how he weak looked to his crew.

"For Christ's sake man get that beast down to the brig and away from Jim." Snapped McCoy causing Jim to look at his friend in relief that the man was still alive and uninjured (as the doctor's wound was already healed by the medical team).

"Commander this is your last warning, move away from the Captain or we will fire on you." Giotto stated firmly, he was in a word pissed, he had also came to the same correct conclusion as the chief engineer when he had entered the room.

With great reluctance and sadness Spock let go of the captain (who immediately covered himself with a sheet and limped over slowly to the door to the safety of the security team) and sat up. One member of the security team walked into Spock's quarters (with Scotty's help) and procured him some clothes to put on, so that they could take him from the room. Spock quickly dressed and held out his hands so that he could be cuffed. Lieutenant Giotto moved forward and placed a pair of high-grade security cuffs around Spock's wrists and then the security team lead Spock to the brig. As soon as the security team had left McCoy went over to Jim with a medical tricorder and scanned him, he really didn't like the results he received.

"Come on Jim lets get you to sickbay." He said softly.

Jim nodded weakly and McCoy fetched Jim a spare uniform. He gently helped Jim into the uniform along with one of the security officers but Jim couldn't stand up for long and almost collapsed with dehydration and pain, fortunately he was caught before he could hit the floor.

"It's OK kid, no ones gonna hurt you." McCoy said when he saw Jim flinch repeatedly from their touch. "You know I would kill any of them if they tried to hurt you kid."

McCoy looked up at Christine Chapel who had come over to help and smiled as the security officer backed off slightly to give the nurse a chance to get closer to the captain.

"Did you bring an anti-gravity stretcher with you?" McCoy asked his head nurse whilst he was still helping Jim dress.

"Yes, we didn't know what sort of state any of you were in." His favourite nurse answered.

"Good fetch it, there's no way he's gonna make it to sickbay under his own power. Also can you make sure that the route between here and there is empty and make sure that no one who has been in this room today speaks with anyone about what they have seen." The doctor knew it would get out but Jim's crew loved him and would protect him with all they had, the man just hoped that they would not find out immediately.

"Yes sir."

She left the room for a minute and came back in with the stretcher and then she helped McCoy get Jim onto it. Jim started to become more and more dazed and unfocused, and McCoy realised that he was going into Hypo-volemic shock.

"Get me some water over here."

Christine who also noticed Jim was in shock grabbed a blanket out of the closet and used it to cover up Jim and handed McCoy a bottle of water. McCoy helped Jim sit up and drink a small amount of the water (as he didn't want his friend to become sick again, clearly Jim hadn't drunk enough water earlier) before allowing two of the orderlies to take Jim down to sickbay. On the journey down there McCoy never once left Jim's side, he held Jim's hand as he walked down the corridors. Jim closed his eyes in relief at being saved and knowing that Spock would never be allowed near him again.

The group finally made it to sickbay where Jim was led into a private room where he was examined and forensic evidence was taken from his body. McCoy then treated Jim's wounds knowing he could only heal the physical injuries and not the mental ones, as Spock had hoped the bite marks refused to heal and scarred immediately leaving Jim with a row of bite marks across his shoulders and neck. Every time the doctor saw those marks he became homicidal.

McCoy gave Jim a more intensive scan once he had finished with the most obvious injuries and swore viciously when he realised that Jim had a perforated bowel, an injury that had not been there the last time he had run the scan in Jim's quarters. The medical team rushed Jim into surgery where McCoy healed the bowel completely (thankfully nowadays they no longer had to use colostomy bags otherwise Jim's healing could be set back weeks).

He hooked Jim up to an intravenous line for both liquids and nutrients. Jim fell asleep easily when McCoy gave him a hypo filled sedatives and painkillers. McCoy pulled up a chair and sat down to watch silently over his best friend, he felt guilty that he was unable to help Jim sooner and anger at the sadistic bastard who had done this to him. Thirty minutes into his vigil Christine walked in and stood next to McCoy. She carefully placed a hand on his shoulder as though she was frightened that he would lash out at her.

"How did you know to send people in?" McCoy asked tiredly before looking up at Christine and giving her a small relieved smile, she also gave a small smile back.

"Captain Kirk hadn't reported for duty so the bridge crew tried contacting him but he didn't answer and so they tried contacting you but you didn't answer either. So they sent a security team and a medical team to find you. What happened in there?" She answered.

McCoy took a deep breath, he didn't want to have to think about what Jim had gone through, he already knew that he was going to have nightmares for months.

"You saw what a state that place was in, you saw what injuries Jim had."

"I just can't believe that Spock could do such a thing."

"Yeah well you're wrong. He attacked Jim repeatedly, he didn't let him leave. He was vicious and cruel." And in that moment Christine's small crush on the former first officer died.

Christine glanced over at the bed and its occupant briefly.

"Is there anything you want me to get you?" She asked hesitantly.

"The command crew, include Chekov and Sulu as well and ask them to meet me in my office in ten minutes." He replied after a minute of silence.

"Are you going to tell them what happened?" Christine inquired.

McCoy gave a frustrated sigh and scratched at his stubble on his cheek, he really needed to have a shave.

"I have to. They have to know why their captain is in a bio-bed and why the XO is in the brig. I'm third in command and I'm not happy about it so I need them to do the extra work until Jim is fit enough to take back over and he can find someone to fill the two jobs that Spock previously filled. I'm of better use in sickbay and I'd rather not leave Jim alone not now, not when he needs someone so much."

Christine nodded her head in agreement and saluted at the captain (even though he was unconscious and couldn't see it) before she left the room and McCoy to his thoughts. Ten minutes later McCoy left the private room as well and ordered lieutenant Giotto to stand watch over the captain until he came back with the dictate to fetch him if Jim woke up earlier than expected. McCoy walked into his office to find all senior crew members in the room (Lieutenant Uhura, lieutenant Sulu, ensign Chekov and lieutenant-commander Scott). Uhura stood up as he entered his office.

"What has happened? Why is Spock in the brig?" She demanded with tears in her eyes, she had believed that Spock would be on his last legs at this point and should be in the infirmary.

McCoy sat down hard in his chair and sighed before turned with great reluctance to face the others. He saw the concern on all of their faces.

"Spock... Spock attacked the captain." He finally answered.

Chekov looked at McCoy fear in his eyes.

"Why?" The young Russian asked.

Uhura looked shocked and confused, but suddenly she understood and gasped.

"He didn't, did he?"

McCoy nodded his head, Uhura's face changed to show the horror she was feeling whilst the others in the room just looked confused as they didn't see her mouth as she mouthed the word rape (Scotty didn't know exactly what happened although he had guessed and guessed correctly at that). McCoy huffed out a sharp breath and leaned forward.

"What I'm about to tell you does not leave the room, understand? Not unless it is to Admiral Pike. Got it?" If it got out to the rest of the Admiralty... the consequences could be catastrophic.

They all nodded in unison.

"For the last few days, Spock has kept Jim a prisoner in his quarters... where he... he..."

McCoy stopped unable to say the words. He was unable to explain what has happened to Jim, to his friend and captain. Fortunately he didn't have to because Uhura spoke up, she turned to the three other men in the room.

"Spock has raped the captain." She said with a great deal of sorrow and a tinge of horror in her voice.

Chekov gasped and fainted, fortunately for the young navigator Sulu managed to catch him before he landed on the floor. Scotty helped carry him over to the couch where after a few seconds Chekov regained consciousness. He looked up at McCoy with a lost look upon his face, he had had a great deal of respect for Spock and looked upon the Vulcan as one of his heroes.

"Why would he do such a thing?"

Before McCoy could answer (not that he really wanted to) Uhura stepped in again.

"Because the captain must be mentally compatible."

Scotty looked pissed off.

"So that's an excuse is it?" Demanded the Scot.

"No of course not but you have to understand, Spock didn't do this for some sick and twisted fun, he did it to survive." She had to make them understand so that they didn't hate Spock for doing what he needed to do to survive.

Sulu looked even more confused.

"How can doing that, how can that save his life?" He asked.

Uhura looked like she was fighting some internal battle, which she was (did she tell them all about Pon-Farr or did she let them keep thinking that their first officer would attack anyone) eventually she decided they needed to know and to tell them.

"He's going through something called Pon-Farr, it's the Vulcan mating drive. Ever since the destruction of Vulcan unbonded males have being going into premature Pon-farr. In most cases they have been found willing partners to bond with and so go through their time safely but Spock didn't have anyone except me and it turns out that I'm not compatible enough to go through it. He would have tried to meditate away but if the captain tried to touch Spock no matter how innocent that touch; it would have shred his control. Spock didn't want to hurt anyone, that's why he locked himself in his room but that one touch and he would turn into a pre-reform Vulcan until he had sated his desires."

"What do you mean pre-reform?" Asked McCoy in confusion.

Uhura glanced around at the men.

"Don't you know anything about Vulcan's history?"

When all four men shook their heads, she sighed.

"Three thousand years ago Vulcan's were violent predators who lived in tribes and clans before Surak came along and converted them to logic. They allowed their emotions to rule them and in doing so it almost destroyed them. Not everything is known about Pon-Farr because they keep their lips tightly sealed when that topic comes up."

"So we all have to be worried about the next time Spock decides to go into pon-fair." Asked Scotty.

"No you don't, at the moment I believe that Spock's Pon-Farr is over..."

McCoy interrupted.

"How can you be sure?"

Uhura looked at him.

"How many people were attacked trying to remove the captain from Spock's sight?"

"I was." The doctor answered with a fearsome scowl.

"When did you try to take him?"

"Yesterday." He huffed, he couldn't believe that Jim had had to go through hell once again even after he had gotten there.

"But today no one was injured right?" The communications officer asked hopefully.

McCoy nodded in reply.

"Then he's no longer in Pon-Farr because he would have hurt you if not killed you."

Suddenly the sirens in the office began to go off, alerting the doctor to a medical emergency in the private room where the captain was residing. McCoy rushed over to the screen, swore loudly and then high tailed it out of the office. The others in the room followed him to the private rooms where Jim was in convulsions.

"What the hell caused this?"

McCoy started jabbing Jim with hypo after hypo but nothing was working. Uhura stepped forward, hoping she could help, she thought that she might know what was wrong.

"Leonard, did Jim tell you if they bonded."

McCoy looked up at Uhura for a second.

"No but Spock did. Why?" He responded.

She nodded her head when the doctor confirmed her theory. "Jim is suffering because Spock is too far away, they are newly bonded."

"There is no way I'm letting that fucking scumbag near Jim." Snapped the doctor, the others in the room agreed with the doctor.

"We can keep security in here to make sure nothing happens but trust me Jim does need Spock." She retorted.

McCoy continued to inject Jim with hypos whilst talking, he really didn't like the idea of Spock being near Jim; especially when Jim had no chance of fighting back.

"Fine send for him but warn him that if he tries to hurt or even touch Jim I'll kill him."

Uhura nodded quickly and left the sickbay along with Scotty at a run and they raced down to the brig together. Ten minutes (and various curses, hypos and pacing) later Spock walked slowly into the room flanked by three armed security guards and Scotty and Uhura. Spock's eyes immediately zeroed in on Jim and he stepped straight over to the bio-bed where he picked Jim up and pulled him into his arms gently and carefully, without pulling out any of the important wire or tubes that were currently attached to Jim.

McCoy scowled but didn't say anything especially when Jim's stats almost immediately went back to normal. Jim unknowingly continued to sleep in Spock's arms.

"Right you've held him long enough. Lie him back down and move away."

Spock stroked Jim's hair, he looked up at Scotty with a very human glare. The engineer glared back in response.

"You said nothing about having to touch him the whole time you with him you said you only had to be near him." Argued Scotty.

Spock finally nodded, he gently lay Jim back down on the bio-bed and carefully covered him with the blanket. He tucked Jim in and then moved reluctantly over to the wall; far enough away to not be in the way but close enough to Jim so that Jim didn't become ill again. McCoy immediately sat down on the bed next to Jim and stroked Jim's hand, he ignored Spock's possessive growls and instead turned his attentions back to the heads of departments.

"So the reason I asked you all here in the first place is because I need you guys to take over for Jim until he's well enough to pick his own XO and Science Officer and I cant take over as captain even though technically I should because I'm better off in sickbay then on the bridge, so this what I want to happen; I want Scotty to be acting captain, you can pick your own XO though either of the lieutenants Sulu and Uhura would be best and if Chekov would take over as Science officer."

Scotty looked at McCoy like he's crazy then smiled and nodded.

"I'll have both, if they don't mind. That way they don't have to deal with two roles on their own."

Sulu, Chekhov and Uhura agreed with the plan of action.

"Good, now don't you have jobs to go do?" Asked McCoy with a raised eyebrow and a sardonic grin.

Chekhov looked at the unconscious captain with tears in his eyes.

"We can come back and see the captain yes?"

McCoy nodded in agreement with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah you can come back any time. I'm sure Jim would appreciate it."

Chekhov nodded and both he and Sulu left together, the pilot had his arm around the still distressed teenager. Scotty clapped McCoy on the shoulder.

"Do you want to do poker night in here later?"

"Yeah Jim should be awake by then and I'm sure he wont want to miss it." Maybe a bit of normalcy would help Jim to recover quicker.

Scotty threw one last dark look at Spock and then departed for the bridge instead of his beloved engines. Which meant that only Uhura, Jim, McCoy, Giotto and the three security guards and Spock were left in the room. McCoy glared daggers over at Spock.

"How far can you be from Jim before he starts going into convulsions again?" He asked with loathing heavily laden in his voice.

"I do not know." Responded Spock, although he was tempted to lie just so that he could stay with Jim longer.

McCoy glanced over at the security guards who still had their phasers aimed at the lone Vulcan in the room.

"Take him into the next room, if you don't hear any sirens leave him in there and use it as his makeshift jail cell."

The three security guards concurred with McCoy's plan and motioned for Spock to leave the room. He did so but it was obvious to everyone in the room that he was reluctant to go, he cast one last longing glance at Jim before he departed the captain's private room and entered the next room. When it was obvious that no sirens had gone off he sat down on the bio-bed and cast his eyes on the floor. The security guards left him on his own as they would be standing out side the door so that no one could enter and that he could not leave. He could not believe that it had come to this but he was grateful that they would be approaching New Vulcan in 2.9 days, the feel of Jim's unconscious mind touching his own was torture, nonetheless it didn't stop him from sending love and affection down the bond and continued to soothe his mates distressed mind. Just then the door opened and Spock looked up to find Uhura in the room.

"Are you not afraid to be in the same room as me?" He asked with a fair amount of apprehension in his voice (he had yet to meditate and so his emotions were still all over the place).

"No Spock, I know you wont attack me, I also know that now you are no longer in Pon-farr you will not attack Jim either especially as he is now your bond-mate."

Spock allowed a look of relief to cross his face in response to her statement.

"I did not mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to harm Jim. My culture says that you should not regret the past but I cannot stop regretting all the mistakes I have made. I should have been strong enough to let Jim leave." He admitted to her.

Uhura went to take one step towards Spock when a message came through the comm unit on the wall that there was a ship on an intercept course.

"Go deal with the ship Nyota I will be fine." He ordered when she hesitated.

"You hate that word, you never use it." She argued with him, she didn't want to leave him here alone, not whilst everyone believed him to be a monster.

"Nyota go. Do your duty. Protect Jim." He begged, he needed Jim to stay safe, even if he couldn't be the one to protect him.

Uhura upon hearing him beg, nodded her head and exited the room at a fast pace. Spock sat silently on his own wishing that he could do something to help.

TBC

Please review.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still don't own :'(

Chapter 6

Uhura made it to the bridge in less than three minutes and sat down at her console, switching with her relief officer, just as the incoming ship hailed the Enterprise. Scotty was in the centre seat with Chekov at navigation and Sulu at the helm.

"Run continuous scans Mr Chekov." Said the acting captain.

"Aye Captain." Replied the navigator.

Uhura swivelled in her chair to look at Scotty and in that moment she felt a flutter of attraction, she almost immediately dismissed it from her mind, after all she had yet to break up with Spock and then gave her report.

"Sir there is a Vulcan _Hali-kel _class ship hailing us."

"On screen Lieutenant." Ordered Scotty.

The screen changed from a view of the stars at warp to show an extremely austere looking Vulcan who appeared to be in his early hundreds if the completely grey hair was to go by. The Vulcan raised his hand in the traditional Ta'al greeting.

"This is Acting Captain Scott of the USS Enterprise." Spoke Scotty as he too raised his hand in greeting (and he did a passable imitation of the Ta'al greeting). "Whom am I speaking to?"

"This is Captain Savock of the Uzh Yel, I am carrying Vulcan passengers who wish to board your ship. They are the Vulcan ambassadors to Earth, one would like to see his son. I believe you have commander Spock on board." Replied the Vulcan.

Scotty nodded his head and struggled to keep a neutral face at the mention of Jim's attacker but he succeeded and so the Vulcan remained clueless.

"There is also a healer joining them." Continued Savock unaware of the acting captains internal strife.

"Very well, we'll beam your guests over once you have dropped your shields."

Scotty looked at Sulu, who was flicking his eyes from his instruments and Scotty, the helmsman understood immediately what the acting captain wanted.

"Lieutenant Sulu go meet our guests in the transport room."

Sulu stood up from the helm and motioned for his relief to take over and walked swiftly down to the transporter room. As he reached the room three people materialise on the transporter pad; two older Vulcan males and a much younger female Vulcan. Sulu recognised one of them immediately; it was Sarek the man who had had to pull Spock off of the captain when they were facing Nero and so therefore Spock's father.

"Ambassador. It is a pleasure to see you again." He turned to the other two guests. "Greetings I'm lieutenant Sulu, welcome aboard the Enterprise."

Syrek appeared like he was trying to keep a smile off of his face. Sulu looked back at Sarek who indulged in the human customs.

"The pleasure is mine. This is Ambassador Syrek and Healer T'Myra. We are here to see my son Spock; I believe he is in need of our assistance."

All three Vulcan's could not help but notice the way Sulu's face had darkened at the mention of Spock.

"What has happened lieutenant? What has my son done?"

Sulu looked at Sarek for a minute trying to find a way to put in to words exactly what Spock had done as he did so he tried to usher the trio out of the room and away from the curious transporter technicians.

"I think that it would be better for everyone if we talk by sickbay."

The three Vulcan's agreed and followed Sulu out of the room. He lead them directly to the sickbay but stopped just outside the range of the automatic doors.

"Spock was in Pon-Farr but he isn't any more."

Sulu noticed that both the ambassadors have gone slightly green at the mention of Pon-Farr. The healer T'Myra looks nonplussed so he guessed that she must have had to deal with a lot of patients with it, it was either that or she just had better control of her emotions.

"How do you know about Pon-Farr?" Sarek asked primly after all only a few off-worlders should know of the Shame of Vulcan heritage.

"Dr McCoy had to tell us. The command crew that is. Because Spock cannot be in command and the captain is in sickbay."

The healer glanced at Sulu.

"Who did Spock mate with in order to survive his time?"

Sulu looked angry, but he was beyond pissed.

"The captain. It was the captain, but he never agreed... he never consented to be Spock's mate. He forced the captain. Which is why he is in sickbay."

Syrek appeared saddened at the news, wishing illogically that they had gotten here sooner.

"In that case I will have to see both Spock and your captain to assess what needs to be done." Spoke the healer.

"You'll have to speak to Dr McCoy first." Replied the helmsman.

"Where is Spock?" Inquired Sarek.

The group moved forward and the automatic doors opened and the human entered sickbay followed closely by the Vulcans.

"He's in the room next to the captain."

"Why is he there? Is he injured?" There was hint of trepidation and worry on Sarek's face at hearing his son was in Sickbay although there was a slight hint of hope because his son and heir was still alive.

"The captain went into convulsions because Spock was too far away; apparently they are bonded so Spock was taken from the brig and brought here so that the captain can get better."

Dr McCoy exited Jim's private room and headed straight over to the invading Vulcans, lieutenant Sulu greeted the doctor before he took his leave and headed back up to the bridge and his duties.

"Ambassador, nice to see you again." Stated the doctor in a cordial manner which belied the anger and heartbreak the man still felt.

"Indeed Doctor."

McCoy pointed to the room next to the one he has just come out of.

"Spock's through there, I assume that's whom you have come to see."

"Your deduction is logical doctor."

The healer and Ambassador Sarek disappeared into the acknowledged room leaving Syrek with McCoy.

"I would like to see Jim if that is at all possible doctor."

"Yeah he's sedated at the moment but he'll wake up in a few minutes."

The two men walked into Jim's room where Syrek was shocked to see Jim so thin and pale, the young captain had also got an IV line inserted into his left arm. Syrek sat down in the chair nearest to the bed and patiently waited for Jim to waken. McCoy fiddled with the IV making sure that it was still working properly and checked all the monitors before he sat down on the bed next to Jim and held his hand. Jim began to waken slowly until the memories of the past few days rushed back and he bolted up wide awake, he looked worried and terrified until McCoy gave him a rare smile which he took to mean that he was safe.

"You're OK kid, you're safe. Spock's not here but you do have a visitor."

Jim's eyes flicked to Syrek. Jim didn't smile like he usually did when they spoke and Syrek regretted its absence, Jim grabbed McCoy's arm in fear.

"Stay."

His voice was barely a whisper and rough from the damage to his throat from screaming. McCoy nodded and gave another rare smile.

"As if I am gonna leave you alone at the moment especially with him next door. It's like all he does is cause you pain. First he maroons you, then he almost kills you and now this."

McCoy threw a glance at Syrek before turning back Jim.

"So what did you wish to talk to Jim about?" He asked without looking back at the Vulcan, not caring at how rude he was being.

"How are you Jim?"

McCoy glanced back at Syrek, glared at him and then rolled his eyes before his attention turning back to Jim, Syrek ignored him. Jim ignored the quite frankly stupid question.

"So what name are you going by on the colony?"

"Syrek." The half-Vulcan answered with a small smile.

McCoy looked confused.

"Why would he need to go by a name?"

McCoy looked back at Syrek with another glare.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

Syrek looked slightly ashamed and sighed deeply.

"In another universe and time I was known as Commander Spock of Vulcan and bond-mate of James Tiberius Kirk."

"WHAT?" Yelled McCoy, what ever he had expected it wasn't that and he definitely would not have allowed the Vulcan into Jim's room if he had known who the man really was.

McCoy looked furious at Syrek.

"Get out of my sickbay now." He snarled, enraged at the Vulcan's deception.

Syrek looked at Jim but the captain refused to meet his eye so Syrek stood up from his chair and left the room with an un-Vulcan sigh. He was escorted almost immediately from sickbay to guest quarters by a yeoman. McCoy started pacing Jim's room.

"Two of them. Two Spock's? Damn it."

He stopped pacing and looked at Jim with a hurt expression his face.

"And you knew and didn't tell me."

Jim stared at his knees, he felt guilty for not telling his best friend.

"I couldn't. It was classified, if I hadn't met old Spock on Delta Vega it would have been classified beyond even my level only three admirals and the high council on Vulcan know who he really is."

McCoy appeared pacified by this and calmed down, he gave Jim's arm a squeeze.

"Sorry I shouldn't have gotten mad but I don't want either of those assholes near you."

"Neither do I. I can feel Spock in my mind, I can feel his emotions and hear his thoughts." Jim admitted.

"That's probably due to the bond. What's he thinking about?"

"Me. I don't want to feel this, I don't want to feel him." McCoy's heart clenched at the pain and fear in Jim's voice.

"Do you want me to sedate you until the bond is broken?" Asked McCoy in a whisper.

Jim was about to answer when the door opened and the healer walked into the room, followed closely by Spock. Jim immediately began to panic. McCoy scowled at the healer and moved to place himself in between Jim and the Vulcan's.

"What do you think you are doing? Are you crazy? Get him out of here." He snarled at T'Myra.

"Doctor I need him here in order to break the bond." The Healer responded without a hint of emotion.

Spock looked aghast as he had not yet meditated to get his emotions under control; as the idea of losing Jim totally finally sank into his mind. If the bond was broken then Jim could still leave him. Jim was still hyperventilating unable to listen to McCoy's voice due to the blood pounding in his ears, McCoy ended up having to use a mild sedative to calm Jim down. It took a few seconds for it to start working but when it did Jim's breathing eased and so did McCoy's heart-rate at this point he would have a heart attack before he was forty.

"Well you could have given some warning, so Jim would have time to prepare."

"It is not logical to wait." She said in an unemotional voice.

"It is; if someone's mental health is at risk." The human Doctor retorted angrily.

The Vulcan healer ignored McCoy and turned to Jim. "I will need to see your mind James."

Jim glanced at McCoy who nodded his agreement back and Jim gave his acceptance.

"Spock will you please sit down on the bed." She saw the obvious fear on Jim's face but did not try to sooth the young captain's distress. "I need to connect to both of your minds at the same time in order to break the bond. I will not see any of your memories."

Spock sat down gracefully on the bed as close to Jim as he could get away with and then T'Myra joined their minds, the three participants faces all slackened as they were drawn onto the mental plain. McCoy took up pacing the room again trying to work off the anxiousness and concern he felt for his friend. After a few long and tortuous minutes all three pulled themselves from the meld with varying expressions on their faces; Jim looked horrified, Spock looked slightly upset and there was a slight hint of smugness that someone could only see if they knew him extremely well and T'Myra looked confused which to be honest was more shocking than seeing Spock with emotion on his face, as she had better control over her facial muscles.

"What's wrong?" McCoy demanded, he glared at the two Vulcan's when they refused to answer him.

Jim looked at McCoy, lost and shattered.

"She couldn't break the bond." He whispered brokenly, his eyes were a dull blue and filled with unshed tears.

"Why not?" McCoy asked gently although he still glared at the two Vulcan's, T'Myra lifted one elegant eyebrow and after a few minutes she finally deigned to answer.

"It is T'hy'la bond it cannot be broken. It is too strong however I have managed to block the bond which means that they will not feel or hear each other in their minds."

"What's a T'hy'la bond? And hows it different from a normal bond?" McCoy asked confused.

"A T'hy'la bond is a complete joining of two souls, one that cannot be broken even by death. It only happens once in a million pairings. It is unheard of for it to happen between an off-worlder and a Vulcan."

The pooled tears started to fall down Jim's cheeks at the thought of never being separated from Spock. McCoy sat down on the opposite side of the bed to Spock and pulled Jim gently into a hug. Spock stood up off the bed and left the room without a word.

"Will his leaving hurt Jim?"

"No the bond has settled they will be able to physically separate quite easily without harm to either." Replied T'Myra.

"So what happens now?" Demanded McCoy.

"James can go on with his life as though he is not bonded."

"And what of Spock?"

"Why do you care?" Retorted the healer.

"Because I'm a doctor and it's my job. I also need to know whether he is going to try and unblock the bond."

"He will be unable to go through another Pon-Farr and he will not try to unblock the bond he does not have the skill. Does that answer your question?" She enquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah it answers it fine."

And with that the healer nodded to both men and made her exit. McCoy turned his full attention back to Jim who was still clinging on to him, like a child seeking comfort from a parent. _Oh Jim how much more do you have to go through before you get to be happy, or until you break completely?_

"So kid you should be well enough to leave tomorrow. I know how much you hate sickbay."

"It's OK I don't mind staying here." Jim's voice was muffled against his chest but McCoy still heard him clearly.

McCoy was concerned as Jim absolutely hated Sickbay and always had, he lifted Jim's face so that he could look the younger man in the eye.

"If this is about you going back to your quarters then you don't have to worry I'm getting a yeoman to empty your room and put your stuff in mine. Its not like I use my room anyway I prefer to sleep on the couch in my office. To be honest that couch is comfier than star fleet issued beds." Weren't that the truth, Star-fleet issue bunks were harder than granite and often the most complained about item on the ship.

Jim pulled away from McCoy's chest slightly and gave him a wan smile. The doctor felt more relief than he thought was possible, maybe Jim wasn't as broken as he had thought.

"Thanks bones. You're the best."

"Yeah yeah I know. Oh the poker group will be here in about ten minutes so be prepared to lose all your coffee sticks." McCoy hoped that he had made the right choice in letting them visit so soon but he trusted Jim's friends to treat him the same way they always had done.

Jim smiled even more brightly at the thought of the gang coming in to see him, suddenly the light in his smile switched off.

"What's the matter kid?" Asked the doctor, wondering what his friend was thinking about.

"How... How much do they know?" He whispered.

"Every thing kid." Jim's breath hitched and McCoy sighed softly but he kept eye contact with his best friend. "I had to tell them Jim, one commanding officer was in sickbay and the other was in the brig. I had to let them know why."

Jim nodded his head more in acknowledgement than agreement, he felt like his whole life had been turned upside down.

"When can I go back on duty?" He didn't feel like he should be on duty yet and it showed on his face, McCoy decided to give him a small reprieve.

"In a couple of days, gives you a chance to regain some weight and rehydrate yourself, you'll also need to undergo a couple of sessions with the psychiatrist beforehand as it's SOP after a traumatic experience." McCoy breathed a sigh of relief when Jim didn't fight with him on that codicil, maybe the kid was still in shock. "I wont keep you away for long I promise. So you hungry kid? I can get the gang to bring some food with them and we can all dinner here."

Jim smiled briefly.

"Yeah I'll have a steak." He said mischievously.

"Damn it kid. Do you want a coronary?" Asked McCoy.

But there was no heat to his words and Jim just grinned feeling like this was how it used to be and maybe just maybe things would get better.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Me No Ownie :(

Authors Note: I am so sorry for the wait as my hard drive deleted all of the chapters I had re-written. I hope you enjoy. Please read and review.

Chapter 7

_There was so much noise, some you would expect from the night and others that had no right to be there. Running so much running, running from the fires and the guns, running from the pain and the hunger, so much running. Death was everywhere you looked, friends who you had joked with only a few days ago, families you had finally connected with, pets you had cherished, all gone; all not worthy. You kept running, you had to; to survive this travesty, to help the others to survive. But you were not fast enough you were after all only a child._

_"Bring him to me!"_

Jim jerked awake with a terror-filled scream, completely drenched in sweat. McCoy was instantly awoken by it and rushed from his own bed and over to his friend's side. Jim took deep calm breaths, telling himself mentally that he was no longer there, no longer in that hell hole whilst McCoy fetched him a glass of water.

"What happened? What did you dream about? Was it Spock again?"Asked the doctor concerned.

Unable to speak, Jim just nodded even though it was not true as he accepted the glass of water from his friend. This was not the first time Jim had had this nightmare; whenever he was scared, the nightmares would come back... they would always come back and so Jim had suffered from nightmares for the past three nights ever since being released from sickbay. Jim gulped down some of the water hoping to wash away the taste of bile that had risen in his throat, it didn't really work.

"Don't worry kid he can't harm you here. I wont let him. Now do you want a sedative so you can sleep or another day off, you don't have to go back to work tomorrow. You can take another day." But McCoy doubted that Jim would accept that, once the younger man had set his mind on something he was not to be persuaded.

Jim shook his head emphatically, just like McCoy thought he would.

"No that bastards taken too much from me already, I'm not gonna let him take any more from me. I'm going back to work tomorrow and I don't need a hypo I'll be fine." Jim always felt cranky and tired after a drugged nights sleep, no matter how long he slept for.

Jim lay back down on the bed and McCoy tucked him back in. McCoy fussed for a bit but then lay back down on the cot he had brought into his quarters when Jim had moved into his rooms.

"Sleep well kiddo." McCoy said tiredly, he had just come off a twenty-six hour shift after a small but almost deadly accident had happened in engineering, there were two severely injured crewmen who had needed major surgery (one of the power conduits had exploded because the men hadn't listened to instructions and thought that they knew better than Scotty, clearly they were wrong).

"You too bones." Yawned Jim.

The next morning Jim awoke slightly late as he had spent the night tossing and turning, and so spent the morning in a bit of a panic as he could not remember where any of his stuff had been put.

"Where's my uniform?" Demanded a frustrated James Kirk, waking a sleep deprived McCoy in the process.

McCoy pointedly ignored Jim and rolled over in his bed and quickly went back to sleep. At least until Jim woke him up again a few seconds later by shaking him.

"Come on bones you can go back to sleep when I'm on duty, I don't know where my uniform is."

McCoy's head poked out of the quilt pile on his bed.

"Is over there, bottom drawer." He murmured almost coherently and pointed to a chest of drawers on the other side of the room.

And then the poor man promptly fell back asleep. Jim eventually managed to find his uniform and went through his usual morning ritual of brushing his teeth and trying to tame his gravity-defying hair before heading off to the bridge with a smile on his face, totally looking forward to being back at work.

That nice pleasant feeling only lasted for a few minutes (the short time it took to get to the bridge). Jim stepped out of the lift and onto the bridge where his smile died instantly, he felt like he had been punched in the gut because sitting in his Chair (yes it's a capital letter but its awesome, it swings and everything )is Spock who looked at Jim like he's the only thing in the world. Jim understandably began to panic. Spock gracefully stood up out of Jim's chair.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you in the brig?" Jim stuttered, he hadn't heard about Spock being released from the brig from any member of his staff and he was going to kill Giotto for not telling him personally.

Spock took a step towards a shaking Jim. Jim began to hyperventilate; the alpha shift bridge crew look worried, Chekhov and Sulu looked like they wanted to get in between Jim and Spock. They hadn't realised that no one had told Jim that Spock was a free man (Vulcan) otherwise they would have told him themselves so that Jim would not have been blind-sided like this.

"I was released from custody and have reported for duty as required by regulations." Spock said as stiffly and non-threateningly as he could. His mind begged for contact with it's mate.

Spock took another step forward and Jim took a step back, keeping the same distance between them, why hadn't anyone warned him about seeing Spock on _his_ bridge again.

"Stay the fuck away from me." He snapped.

Jim bolted from the bridge and ran back to his and McCoy's quarters, he almost collapsed to the floor as soon as he got through the door.

"Bones, wake up, please. I need you." Stuttered the young captain who was still trembling in fear although he tried to hid it.

Hearing the panic and sheer terror in Jim's voice made McCoy wake up instantly. He jumped out of his bed and ran over to his best friend.

"Christ kid what's happened?"

"They released him from the brig. He was on the bridge, he was in my chair. They let that animal sit in my Chair." McCoy swore and pulled Jim into a hug.

"Calm down Jim, here sit, while I get you connected to Pike." McCoy pulled away and made his way over to his desk and to the comm unit that resided on it.

A few minutes later and Jim was looking at his pseudo-father Admiral Christopher Pike.

"Why is Spock allowed on my bridge?" It was the first thing that Jim said, he didn't even bother with the niceties as he usually did, not that anyone could blame him.

Pike sighed, he hated what had happened but he hated the fact he couldn't even punish Spock even more.

"We can't charge him." He finally said a minute's silence.

Jim looked shell shocked. McCoy put a gentle hand Jim's shoulder and looked at Pike pissed.

"What? Why not?" Snarled the doctor.

"Because his father is the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth, and he has used his diplomatic immunity to protect his son. We can't do anything to punish him, we can't fire him, can't transfer him, we can't even demote him." Pike answered not even trying to hide how much he hated that he couldn't punish his former first officer.

"What am I going to do? I cant trust him, I hate him, I cant even bear the idea of even being in the same room let alone being with him on my own. When I went onto that bridge today, he looked at me like nothing had happened." Jim was about to start hyperventilating when McCoy wrapped him in his arms and gave him a strong hug.

"I'm sorry Jim. I don't know how to help you, but there is nothing I can do, if his father wasn't a diplomat and a good one at that we might have been able to swing something. I'm so very sorry Jim, there's nothing I can do."

Jim glanced away, his brain working furiously, then an idea came to him. He gave a small smile hoping his plan would work.

"So let me get this right you cant demote, transfer or fire Spock because that will be seen as punishing him which according to the law you cant do?"

Pike nodded, clearly wondering where this is going.

"What if you don't demote but promote him?"

"How would that punish him?" Pike asked confused.

"He doesn't want command he told me so after the Narada incident and he wont be on my ship so I don't have to see him everyday." Answered Jim with a small smile.

"Didn't... weren't... aren't you bonded to him?" Inquired Pike delicately.

"Well technically yes. But fortunately the healer brought on board managed to block it so that I cant feel it."

"Then we cant promote him, bonded couples cant be separated."

Jim looked crestfallen and both other men wanted in that moment to rip a certain Vulcan into a couple of hundred different pieces.

"What am I going to do? If he wont leave then I will."

"Jim I've already said we can't separate you." Pike said with roll of his eyes.

"Then I quit." Jim said whilst trembling, being a captain was all he ever wanted to be, even when he was a broken little fuck-up in Iowa and thought that his dream was impossible.

Pike looked so shocked and a little bit angry at Jim's answer.

"No Jim. don't do that. Don't throw your life away because of him." He stated firmly, he wasn't going to let Jim's life be ruined any more than it already had been.

Jim looked defeated, he had no idea about what to do any more.

"Then I don't know what to do, how do I deal with this?"

Pike thought for a moment or two, trying to see a way for them to get around this problem.

"Swap his shifts around put him on delta shift, any shift that you are not on, but make sure he is still on bridge shifts so he cant complain about being treated unfavourably, put him in the labs on alpha shifts and any shifts you might take. And take some more self-defence classes, especially the ones suited to heavy gravity worlds, get them to train you on how to fight back and learn all you can about Vulcan anatomy, you'd be surprised how much that information comes in handy when it comes to fighting." The Admiral finally said after a few minutes.

Jim nodded, relieved that there was something he could do to stop himself from seeing Spock everyday.

"Give me a minute to talk to Leonard will ya? You'll be okay kiddo, don't worry me and Leonard have your back."

Again Jim nodded and he left the room without a protest, the other two men accepted it with a raised eyebrow but neither of them.

"What'd you want to talk about?" Asked McCoy the moment Jim stepped from the room.

"How is he really?" Asked Pike in a fatherly way.

"Angry, scared as hell and a little bit depressed, but I think you already know that Sir."

"This isn't an official call so you don t need to be polite. I wish I could protect him, he feels like he's my son and I'd do anything for him. But I feel so helpless, I hate this, he's been through so much as it is. If I ever get my hands on Spock..."

"If you got your hands on him, I'd willingly give you an alibi." Smirked McCoy.

Pike gave McCoy a very flirty smile but before he could say anything he received an important message come through his PADD. Pike groaned when he saw who it was from.

"I'm sorry I've got to deal with this, talk to the kid for me and make sure he doesn't quit, I'll call back soon."

And with that he hung up and Jim walked back in the room almost immediately.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it. He likes you."

"Yeah yeah, you do know the saying that eavesdroppers never hear good things about themselves right?" At Jim's shrug, he changed the subject to something more serious. "Do you want me to come up and sit on the bridge with you whilst you kick Spock out?"

"Please."

McCoy sighed (a few more hours of missed sleep were nothing compared to kicking that ass-hole off the bridge) and agreed to go with him, he looked around the room quickly around for a clean uniform, changed even quicker and then followed Jim into the turbo-lift and onto the bridge. Spock looked up when the lift opened again and stood up out of the Chair when he saw Jim standing there once again.

"Captain on deck."

Jim appeared as though he wanted to say something to Spock but bottled it and turned to face lieutenant Uhura instead. Spock took a step towards Jim, not liking the closeness he saw between Jim and McCoy._ My mate, mine._

"Jim."

Jim became even more pissed off at Spock's audacity.

"That's Captain Kirk to you. Only my friends can call me Jim. And you commander are not my friend." Spock looked gutted but Jim didn't feel even a drop of remorse.

Jim looked back at Uhura.

"Lieutenant please call up Mr Spock s replacement as he will be spending alpha shift in the science labs for the foreseeable future." He said formally.

The lieutenant nodded and turned back to her station whilst Jim turned back to look at Spock who seemed like he wished to speak.

"You may have your daddy protecting you from the law but this is my ship. I may not be able to throw you off it but I can throw you off my bridge. Good day commander, don't allow the door to hit you in the ass on your way out." Jim said scathingly and Spock winced.

Spock opened his mouth to speak but then closed it, he glanced around the bridge and found no support not even from Uhura; she refused to even try and catch his eye, so he acquiesced and strode to the lift and left the bridge. He took the lift down to the science labs where for the first time he was ignored and so he shut himself off as he had done since his release from the brig and worked through the alpha and beta shifts before he decided to finally go back to his quarters for the first time in three days.

Spock walked into his quarters and found it in the same state he had left it; the bed was still rumpled and there were semen and blood stains on the bedding, now rotting fruit lay discarded on the floor, a smashed comm unit and the remainder of Jim s trousers and underwear by the bathroom door. Images came to the front of his mind and started to play like a movie and made him remember everything he had done to his captain in excruciating detail, a dry sob ripped through his throat and he collapsed onto the floor.

_What have I done? Oh Jim please forgive me. T'hy'la I beg of you please._

Spock felt water running down his face so he looked up at the ceiling to see if there was a leak, it took a second before he realised that they were tears and they were coming from him. Spock curled in on himself sobbing and shaking for a long time, until his PADD chimed letting him know that some one wished to speak to him. Spock pulled himself together and rid himself of any evidence of his tears, straightened his clothes, then schooled his face into its Vulcan mask and answered the call. It was Admiral Pike and he didn't look happy.

TBC


End file.
